?

Log in

January 2009   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Kiss Me
Posted on 2009.01.21 at 21:34
Hm...I think my posts are being weird, like not showing up right. But I'm not sure.

Kiss Me
Posted on 2008.11.16 at 21:22
My life is fucked.

Kiss Me

Finally...a job!

Posted on 2008.09.03 at 23:10
Current Mood: busybusy
I was finally hired as a teacher...right here in Michigan! It's a new program through the Southgate Adult and Community Education program and the Guidance Center. I'll be teaching kids 14-18 who are wards of the court and are in a juvenile justice program. I have a ton of stuff to do though. Since it is a new program, I was hired to not only teach it, but to also create the entire curriculum. This includes curriculum for English 9, 10, 11, and 12, plus Algebra 1 (don't even ask about this one...yikes!), and eventually history as well. I also have to make the handbook for the program and get my room, rules, and procedures ready. On top of that, I have to learn the computer-based learning program that we will be using in the classes. And...my students will be at all different levels, so I have to assess them and pretty much teach all of them at a different grade level with the curriculum.

Classes start the 15th of this month, and I have about 10 weeks once classes have started to create the entire program curriculum.

I haven't been this busy in, well, forever I think...

Kiss Me

My eyes are on FIRE!!

Posted on 2008.05.22 at 21:42
Current Location: Glued to the computer chair
From staring at this stupid computer! I have filled out as many teaching applications as I can for a Michigan job. I don't know how much longer I can do this...I just figured I'd take a break and update this quickly and maybe stop for the night.

I had a formal interview with Allen Park for an English teaching position for their Alternative Ed. school, but I found out two days ago that I didn't get the job. I think this is probably the first of many Michigan let-downs. But between then and now, I've mailed in two more application packets and filled out two more online applications. So maybe I'll hear something from those schools. At least an interview would be nice. I don't really expect a job considering that so many experienced teachers are laid off already and are looking for new jobs. It's really discouraging. But I am trying to make the best of it and keep applying because the worst they can do is say no.

But other than that, not much is new. I'm going camping tomorrow until Monday. I think it will be nice to be away from the computer....job seeking is driving me nuts. I'm doing district searches every minute...Ugh. The only way to stop myself is to not have internet access.

Hope everyone has a good holiday weekend.

Kiss Me

Jobless...

Posted on 2008.03.09 at 01:29
I finally quit my job at the casino a couple weeks ago. I can't even explained how relieved (and completely broke) I am. Now to find a teaching job in Michigan....yeah right. I just don't see myself getting hired anywhere in this state. But, we'll see. I'm at least going to put the effort in this year.

The day after I quit work, I went to Florida with my mom. I forgot what a looong drive it was until I started driving. Eh...it took forever. But we had a good time down in Clearwater. The view from our room was the best part. We could see dolphins playing in the water right outside our room. We only had one day of sunshine though...the rest was cold, windy, and rainy. But still worth the trip.


Kiss Me

It's been awhile...

Posted on 2007.07.11 at 19:56
Current Location: My new place
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Here is a quick summary of feelings, actions, and events:


*Turned down 5 job offers in Las Vegas, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Arizona.

*Moved in with Joe.

*Have been busy doing fun things like remodeling and decorating.

*Still working at Chili's--still hate it.

*Shot a beer can with a 12 gauge shotgun.

*I'm giving up hope on/desire for teaching, here or anywhere.

*Had lunch with Derek.

*Never thought I'd hear myself say it, but I just wanna be a housewife.

*Joe made me run...and nothing was chasing me (but I almost died).

*Got in my first fight with Joe, over (of course) my friendship with Derek.

*Learned how to drive a stick-shift.

*Locked myself in the bathroom since it's the only private place I have now to cry.

*Smiled many, many times--had a lot of fun.

*Went rollerblading with Joe since he bought be rollerblades.

*Worried about my future and getting old (23 this month!).

*Became an Aunt to little Abbigale Susan.

*Met my Dad's black mistress (I just found that one interesting...).

*Went fishing.

*Had a lot of sex.

*Enjoyed the last two weeks that Joe has had off work.

*Applied for a cocktail waitressing job at MGM Detroit.

I think that sums it up, basically. It's been a very fun/confusing/hard/wonderful couple months. Can only hope it gets better from here. Still nervous about what my life holds and how capable I am of screwing it up and myself over. Hope I haven't made a huge mistake.

Kiss Me
Posted on 2007.04.05 at 14:24
If anyone knows what love is, what love feels like, or how to stay in love, please let me know...

Kiss Me
Posted on 2007.03.29 at 12:41
Current Mood: workingworking
My life is changing by the second and I feel as though I am spiraling out of control.

I think I am moving to Las Vegas. Just finished my application for Clark County Schools. Need to schedule an interview and then see what happens. Not letting anything hold me back.

Did I mention that I'm single again???

Kiss Me

...But home is nowhere

Posted on 2007.03.15 at 01:29
Current Location: Soon to be in bed/dreamland
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: AFI
[Prepare for a multitude of song lyrics...]

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay,
Forever haunted, more than afraid.
Asphyxiate on words I would say,
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue.

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.

I cannot stay here, I cannot leave,
Just like all I loved, I make believe.
Imagine heart, I disappear, seems,
No one will appear, here and make me real.

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.

I'd tell you how it haunts me,
I'd tell you how it haunts me,
(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams.)
I'd tell you how it haunts me,
(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams.)
You don't care that it haunts me.

Oh,
There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.

Just how much this, hurts me.

Just how much you...

----------------------------------------

Walked away, heard them say
"Poison hearts will never change, walk away again"
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within

It's hard to notice gleaming from the sky
When you're staring at the cracks
It's hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered

You... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change, walk away again"

All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart

As I... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change"
Walked away again
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within

---------------------------------------------------

Twenty-six years and seems like I've just begun
To understand my, my intimate is no one
When the director sold the show, who bought its last rites?
They cut the cast, the music, and the lights

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

Twenty-six years end, still speaking in these tongues
Such revelations while understood by no one
When the new actor stole the show, who questioned his grace?
Please clear the house of ill-aquired taste

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

Give me something, give me something real

I lay strewn across the floor, can't solve this puzzle
Everyday another small piece can't be found
I lay strewn across the floor, pieced up in sorrow
The pieces are lost, these pieces don't fit
Pieced together incomplete and empty

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

--------------------------------------------

I think I might cry myself to sleep for the first time in a long time. Goodnight.

Kiss Me
Posted on 2007.03.12 at 12:15
Current Music: AFI-Random(not really) songs running through my head
I've posted this quote before a few years ago, but it just suits me well, especially considering that my grandpa was raised in Scotland. And my past has been haunting me lately, despite Joe telling me that "you can't let the past haunt you." Yeah, I talked to Joe. And yeah, it's got me all messed up.


"To a Scot, the past clings like sand to wet feet,
and is carried about as a burden. The many ghosts are always a part of them, inescapable." ~Geddes MacGregor


So, if I can't let the past haunt me, then how do I get it to stop?

How do I stop thinking about you us?


Previous 10